像天使一样死去

来源:其它 战争故事 2016-12-31
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从进入集中营那天,她就知道她必将死去。

甚至,从被赶上列车,她就知道她必将死去。她无数次听过集中营的故事:魔鬼般的士兵,黑暗的毒气室,堆积如山的尸骨,臭气熏天的焚尸炉……世界像墓地般寂静,天空飘落着死人的灰烬……列车像拴在一起的棺材,咣当,咣当,坚定地奔赴死亡。外面冰天雪地,车厢里却热得发狂。不断有人死去,闷死,热死,病死,吓死,死去了,尸体或被焚烧,或被抛上铁轨,任列车碾成肉酱。

她们本该被处死,可是突然,她们有了生的机会。集中营里多出一个工厂,制造前线吃紧的钢盔。她们站在院子,任士兵像牲口那样挑拣。士兵将看似虚弱或者生病的女人赶到墙角,然后,当着她们的面,一个一个射杀。她们那般温顺,温顺到枪声响起,立即听话地倒下,没有哀嚎,没有挣扎,没有抽搐。那里有她的姐姐,她看着姐姐,看着,看着,看着,姐姐就消失了。然后她们来到车间,她看到骷髅般的钢盔堆成了山。

每天都会有人死去。闷死,热死,冻死,病死,吓死,被士兵杀死。每天,早晨,她们都会站到院子,任士兵挑选。她们的身体逐渐变成一样的枯瘦虚弱,她们的脸色逐渐变成一样的苍白灰暗。被射杀的女人越来越多——她们那般虚弱,那般苍白——士兵们绝不会让她们多浪费一粒粮食——那么多年轻健康的女人源源不断地被输送进来。

她们制造出世界上最坚固的钢盔。她们保证子弹不能将任何一只钢盔射穿。这是她们得以活下来的唯一保障。

钢盔被送上前线,帮助士兵打胜仗。士兵打了胜仗,更多的同胞被杀害,更多的女人被送来。送来的女人生产出更多更坚固的钢盔。更多更坚固的钢盔再一次抵达前线。很多时候,她想,她其实,她们其实,正做着不可饶恕的罪恶事情。可是她想活。她们都想活。哪怕多活一天。哪怕多活一时。她和她们,说服不了自己。

与她同时进入集中营的女人越来越少。她们无奈地将自己透支,然后被枪杀,焚烧,一把灰撒得到处都是。她们太过虚弱,虚弱到抱不动一只钢盔。她也虚弱。但是,她有办法让自己看起来更健康一些。最起码,她有办法让自己看起来比其他女人更健康一些。

因为每一天,她都要偷偷化妆。

用了自己的鲜血。

她咬破手指,将鲜血抹上嘴唇,抹上脸颊。她有了虚假的血色,有了健康的色彩。士兵的目光无数次划过她的脸,却每一次都没有停留——只要士兵的目光在哪个女人的脸上停留超过一秒钟,那个女人就必将死去。那是来自地狱的目光。

战争是罪恶的。士兵是罪恶的。她也是罪恶的。她知道。

似乎她的血越来越少。一开始,她咬手指。后来,她咬手腕。再后来,她咬所有可以放出鲜血的地方。有女人发现她的作法,开始效仿,于是,第二天,很多女人的脸,便有了红艳艳的色彩。可是仍有人被射杀。——前线的士兵势不可挡,被送来的女人越来越多。车间里,已经不需要那么多工人。

这样的日子延续了两年。终于,与她一起前来的女人,只剩下她和一个女孩。焚尸炉每天都在焚烧尸体,她想那些皮肉烧焦的臭味,会在这里弥漫一百年。

终于战争要结束了。她们得到消息,明天,盟军就会打到这里。当然,盟军到达以前,她们将会被集体射杀。

这结果,其实,她早就预料到。

她熬过两年,终于熬到了死。她放光身体里所有的血,终于熬到了死。她说服自己不要恐惧,然而,她说服不了自己。

她躺在光光的床板上,旁边,睡着那位年轻的女孩。女孩身患重病,即使不被射杀,她也将很快死去。突然女孩笑了。她愣住。这是她第一次听见女孩的笑声。

她摇醒女孩。她问她笑什么。女孩说,我梦见自己变成新娘。我穿着雪白的婚纱,我的嘴唇红得就像刚刚采摘的樱桃。我把自己打扮得那么漂亮,呵,我是天使……

梦里的女孩成为新娘,成为天使,可是她呢?每天她也在努力打扮自己,却只为生产出更多更坚固的头盔,然后将她的同胞,推向死亡。

这可耻。这不可耻。这可耻。

突然她想漂亮地死去。像梦中的女孩那样漂亮地死去。既然她靠血色多活了两年,为什么,她不能靠血色死去一次呢?

清晨,她唤醒所有的姐妹。她说让我们漂亮地死去一次。像新娘那样死去。像天使那样死去。

……

她活了下来。尽管她们被赶到院子,周围布满荷枪实弹的士兵。枪没有响,士兵们匆匆逃离。然后,朝阳里,她看到一辆辆装甲车从天而降。

放过她们的,是集中营里的最高长官。他嗜血成,杀人如麻。可是那一刻,他说,当看到她们用鲜血将自己打扮得漂漂亮亮,他害怕极了。他必须留她们一条生路,他不能够射杀从地狱里逃出来的天使。

他是站在绞刑架上说出这句话的。尽管他罪恶滔天,但那天,他努力将自己打扮得英俊。

Introduce:From enter concentration camp that day, she knows she is sure dead to go. Even, from the train that be caught up with, she knows she is sure dead to go. She has heard the story of concentration camp countless times: Arms of the taxi like the devil, dark gas chamber, accumulation mountainous skeleton, bad smell fumes the cremator …… world of the day to resemble the hush like graveyard, the sky waves falling the bier that cindery …… train of the the dead is together like fasten, with a bang become, with a bang become, hurry off to death sturdily. Outside a world of ice and snow, heat up crazily however in railroad car. Ceaseless somebody is gone, stifle, heat is dead, die in one's bed, frighten dead, gone, body or be burned, or be cast to go up rail, hold the post of train to grind fleshy sauce. They ought be put to death, can be abrupt, they had unripe opportunity. In concentration camp many a factory, the helmet that production front is critical. They stand in the courtyard, ren Shibing resembles draught animals in that way choose. The soldier will look be like frail the woman that perhaps falls ill hurries to a corner, next, before their face, shoot one by one kill. They that kind is docile, rise to gun noise meekly, topple obediently instantly, without sad wail, did not struggle, without tic. There is her elder sister over there, she looks at an elder sister, look at, look at, look at, the elder sister disappeared. Next they come to the workshop, she sees the helmet like the skeleton piled mountain. Meet everyday somebody is gone. Stifle, heat is dead, freeze to death, die in one's bed, frighten dead, be killed by the soldier. Everyday, in the morning, they can stand to the courtyard, ren Shibing chooses. Their body becomes gradually same skinny and frail, their complexion becomes gradually same cadaverous and gloomy. The woman that is discharged to kill is increasing —— they that kind is frail, soldiers of that kind of cadaverous —— won't make them much waste —— of a commissariat absolutely the feminine in a steady stream of so old light health is carried to come in ceaselessly. They make the soliddest helmet on the world. They make sure bullet cannot shoot an any helmet wear. This is the exclusive safeguard that they are able to come down alive. Helmet is served front, help soldier calls victorious battle. The soldier called victorious battle, more brethrens are killed, more women are delivered. The feminine production that delivers gives the helmet with solidder more. The helmet with solidder more reachs front again. A lot of moment, she thinks, she actually, they actually, doing cannot Babylon thing of Rao Shu. But she misses work. They miss work. Even if live one day more. Even if live more temporarily. She and they, cannot persuade oneself. The wife that enters concentration camp at the same time with her is less and less. She